There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I wish you could order shots online.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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