It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
