what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Randomize
