I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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