Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
