she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
don't judge my taste in strippers
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
And then he peed in my hair
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