funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
