Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
