Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
