I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
