Don't you send me to vm
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
this hospital has no fireball
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
