Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
