well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
