So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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