a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I enjoy the company of your penis
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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