who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
