Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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