I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
