Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just high enough for therapy.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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