ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
