i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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