FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
