dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
