Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
