no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
