Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
