Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
