so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
