so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
