You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
