Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We are all done wearing pants today
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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