So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
zippers are such a cool invention
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
