Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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