cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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