she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
