Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
