he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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