This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
