we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
did you just send me my own nude
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
