So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Bring me that man meat
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
