he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We named our party play list daddy issues
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
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