On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
A bitchslap is in order.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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