Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
