If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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