This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
