He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
