I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
