Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
