At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
