sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
